My wife and I recently watched a DVD from a conference series by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs based on his wonderful book Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs. You should buy this book today (right now) and read it asap. I will forgo providing a detailed explanation of the magnificent book; we will be writing much more about it in the near future.

In explaining how husbands should love their wives, Dr. Eggerichs referenced the heavy and humbling  scripture that calls husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:23-32). He provided a short, but illuminating analogy that really convicted me.

Dr. Eggerichs basically said, “Men… how would you feel if every time you poured your heart out to Christ, he responded with…’Will you please hurry up and get to the point. Not this again! Really, guy? I’ve listened to this SO many times. Why can’t you do this right? You are like a broken record. I’m tired of listening to this, you’ve had your share of grace. Blah blah blah blah. Jesus… out'”. In my head, this is where Jesus forms His holy (yes, that has dual meaning) hand in that goofy, hackneyed pinky-thumb phone structure and hangs up from the prayer.

While I definitely do not talk to my wife like that, surely I do in my actions more often than I should (which, of course, is never). This quick example really made me think about what it means to be the “Head” of and Christlike figure in my marriage in how I love and serve my sexy wife. What if I really thought about how Christ would respond in EVERY situation regardless of magnitude? Inevitably, my thoughts resolved to the good ole’ elementary tenet, WWJD… What Would Jesus Do? How would / did He respond [in any situation]?

• When your wife asks you to do something… how would Christ respond? Would He wait till it was convenient or when the puppet show (I don’t know what the equivalent of Jesus-time television was), or drop what He was doing and joyfully do it to serve her? Hint: the second option is the correct answer.

• When your wife is telling you a story or about her day… how would Christ pay attention and listen? Would He half-listen or turn His body toward and look  her in the eye with 100% focused attention?

• When your wife is feeling lonely, self-conscious, disconnected, or upset… how would Christ go out of His was to lift her up?
  

• How did Christ lead, love, serve, and prioritize His bride, the church / His people? He gave everything, including his innocent and pure life for her / us. He was passionate and humble. Dying for your wife is not just physical. Dying for your wife is getting over your selfishness to love, pursue, serve, and lead her. This is even moreso true when it is awkward, challenging, “inconvenient”, or difficult  to point her toward and model Christ to her in your actions, words, thoughts

• How did Christ pursue a real and deep relationship with God? It was this relationship that guided Christ to fulfilling God’s purpose and vision for his life. This relationship also gave Christ the strength to endure every kind of persecution and a violently brutal crucifixion.
  • He did so in all of his actions, thoughts, words, and relationships.
  • He did not “get around to it, whenever it was convenient”.
  • He prioritized it as #1.
  • He was not lukewarm.
  • He pursued God with all of his strength, mind, and heart.
  • He prayed often.

• How well did Christ know Scripture? He could quote ALL OF IT.

• How did Christ protect the purity of the His bride? He spoke truth, He lovingly confronted, He offered himself, He served, He prayed for guidance and followed up in action as He submitted His desires / thoughts / actions / body to God and prayed for guidance.

• When was Christ sarcastic, condescending, selfish, and unloving? There was that one time where… oh yea… nevermind… he wasn’t.

I’m sure I’m leaving plenty out, but surely you get the point. Really… that’s it. Of course volumes have been written on this “Christ as model leader” concept. This is simple, but not easy. I apologize this epiphany it is not “deeper”. I have thought about it every day for a week. I would also venture to say that if I make this a core part of how I love and serve my wife, there will be fantastic effects in my ability to love other, and I might learn a little more about my Savior.

Unimportant Blog Composition Note: It is unnecessarily stressful making sure I do not “devalue God” by appropriately capitalizing references to “He” and “His”. Yes, that was a joke. You are correct, it was not funny.

Scriptural Reference

Ephesians 5:23-32

²³ For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. ²⁴ As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.

²⁵ For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her ²⁶ to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. ²⁷ He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. ²⁸ In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself.²⁹ No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. ³⁰ And we are members of his body.

³¹ As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” ³² This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one.

Discussion Questions

1. When did you last respond to your life in a non-Jesus-ish kinda way?
2. In moments of joy or frustration, do you see value in taking a moment to think “What Would Jesus Do” / “How would He respond?”. Note: This is a leading question, to which you are supposed to reply “Absolutely” and do something about it.