“No Strings Attached” – This Breaks My Heart … God Designed Sex Perfectly

“No Strings Attached” – This Breaks My Heart … God Designed Sex Perfectly

You may have seen the trailer for the new Natalie Portman, Ashton Kutcher, and Kevin Kline movie entitled “No Strings Attached” that is being released to theaters this weekend. I do not plan on seeing this movie, so this short post may be completely off-base… but I sincerely doubt it. This movie will probably rake in well over $50 million from eager patrons in the coming weeks. Here is the short plot description provided at IMDB:

“A guy and girl try to keep their relationship strictly physical, but it’s not long before they learn that they want something more.”

Here are 3 other marketing slogans associated with “No Strings Attached”

  • Can two friends hook up without love getting in the way?
  • Welcome to the new world of relationships.
  • Can sex friends stay best friends?

Below is the movie trailer (there is much more commentary below the video):

Doesn’t that just break your heart and make you want to SCREAM? The trailer (and undoubtedly the movie) make the whole “friends with benefits” idea seem so nonchalant, commonplace, fun and casual. Sex and sensuality in the news and media is [unfortunately] not unique or special in any way. It is expected, blatant, and omnipresent. Our media and world will continue digressing into more crudeness. That is expected. The Bible predicts this.

I’m relatively young, and it frightens and appalls me to look at the evolution of what society has deemed “acceptable” between 1970 and 2011, much less a during a larger time span. In some twisted way, our society sees increased acceptance of vulgarity as positive “progress” and “acceptance”. I am definitely not advocating in any way for the crazy “Christian” that stands on a street corner with a SINNER sign shouting condescending judgment as folks walk by. That response is not in line with Jesus’ commission. However, we definitely need to protect our families while standing firm on and instructing them in God’s Truth.

This is why the role and responsibility of spiritual leader in the home is so incredibly important, frightening, and heavy.

Media like this definitely perpetually desensitizes us and tweaks upcoming generations of children.  This also proliferates grotesque social and sexual expectations. It breaks my heart that as we look around, in many ways this is the “new world of relationships”.

As a Christian, it is always important to stand guard against and be aware of the perversion in the world around us. It ultimately just builds a stronger case for the eternal truths of God’s glorious design, and why we should praise, learn about, and be in awe of it. He omnisciently and intentionally designed man, woman, and both the ideas and realities of “relationship”. It also makes me want to protect my heart and family even more. All this brings me to my pain in seeing the movie trailer. We should run to Truth (the Bible, Church, and prayer).

“Strictly Physical” with “No Strings Attached”??!!

“A guy and a girl try to keep their relationship strictly physical”… with the title No Strings Attached. Seriously… how can any human believe this as possibility?! In what universe would taking part in the most intimate act a woman and man can experience this side of eternity exist with “No Strings Attached”? Sex is the most powerful physical bonding that exists in the creation of humanity; emotions and attachment are inevitable. Believe it or not, it was created that way intentionally by a loving and incredible Creator as a method for deeply bonding man and woman.

The Bible teaches truth in this:

20 He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him.

21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man.

23 “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’” Genesis 2:20-23

This incredibly simplistic truth is defined in both the Old and New Testaments:

24 This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. Genesis 2:24


6 But ‘God made them male and female’ from the beginning of creation. 7 ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, 8 and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, 9 let no one split apart what God has joined together.” Mark 10:6-9

God begs and commands our obedience to his perfect design. He designed us… he knows how we are intended to function.

18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. 1 Corinthians 6:18

The Perfect Design of Perfect Sex

Breathe for a second, empty your mind, and join me in the vision for God’s design of sex…

Imagine the joy of the perfect sexual union between man and woman…

A man and woman physically and sexually drawn to each other save themselves for marriage. Both are deeply, passionately, spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and romantically drawn to the other. While dating, they carefully chose not to touch each other’s bodies in any way. They fled from sexual temptation. They resisted all natural urges.

On the wedding night, they get to the bedroom curious… giddy… excited… nervous… anxious… and aroused.

  • Neither has been exposed to sexuality promoted by the media with lofty performance expectations or has even seen a sexual scene in a PG-13 movie.
  • Neither has viewed pornography.
  • Neither has seen someone of the opposite gender nude, much less touched or explored a body.
  • Neither have previous sexual encounters with which to compare themselves nor their new spouse.
  • Neither has felt any type of sexual pleasure alone.
  • No one in the world will have ever seen or will ever see either of them nude. They are unique and special for and to each other.

No baggage. No pain. No insecurities.  No comparisons. No bad memories. No expectations.

Two pure people… enjoying and exploring each other for the first time and throughout rest of their lives.

25 Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. Genesis 2:25

Wow. That is overwhelming and breathtaking in a fantastic way.

The purity and beauty of that picture honestly brings tears to my eyes.

Perhaps that ideal scenario is essentially impossible… but how beautiful is that design? How amazing would it be to get as close to that design as possible, while living in a fallen world?

Discussion Questions

  1. How are you inviting “sexual immorality” into your marriage and/or family?
  2. How are you or your spouse becoming desensitized to sexual sin, and what should you do to “flee”?
  3. What instruction does scripture provide about these pursuits?


  1. Dave

    Know what makes me want to scream? Bible-thumping, God-fearing, judgmental Christians, who think themselves fundamental yet who couldn’t be further from it.

    Who say things like, “I am definitely not advocating in any way for the crazy “Christian” that stands on a street corner with a SINNER sign shouting condescending judgment as folks walk by.” All the while standing on a digital street corner (the internet) and writing about standing guard against perversion in the world.

    Your concepts of what God is, and how God exists is incongruous to what Jesus the Christ believed and said.

    Let’s agree that God created the Universe and everything in it. That Universe, that ‘everything in it’ bit, includes all of the perversion and bad stuff that goes against your personal, egoist sense of tastefulness.

    Because it is all from God, or of God, in fact it all IS GOD, how is it we are living in a “fallen world?”

    This is the world GOD CREATES. It is beautiful and perfect, even where you think it is not.

    Which, probably, is just about everywhere. People like you see this world as Satan’s playground, while God is just some sort of absentee landlord. You’re wrong. God is everywhere, in everything, at all times. God is in you. God is in me. That’s what Christ was saying.

    And let’s remember; Christ didn’t have a Bible to thump. He spoke the truth from within. Maybe if more “fundamental” Christians did the same their Universe would be a much more tolerant and pleasant place.

    • Marriage Lover

      Hey Dave… thanks for the thoughts. It will take a bit of time for me to write a reply to this, but I will.

    • Kris Van Houten

      Hey Dave, how ya doin? In reading your response on my buddy’s post, there are several questions I have in assessment of your claims:

      First, how would you define the word ‘Fundamental?’ Webster’s dictionary says it is ‘serving as an original or generating source.’ So if I say that my Christian beliefs are rooted in the Bible, whether or not my exegesis is correct, I could be considered Fundamental. Jehovah’s Witnesses would also say that they use the Bible as the generating source for their theology yet we have two harshly opposing worldviews because of faulty exegesis (On theist part). Is there a different definition I have not read of the word that validates your claim, or did you just use it because it sounds insulting, much like the phrases ‘Bible-Thumping’ and ‘Judgmental Christians?’

      Secondly, you seem to be stating that on Christianity God created all the evil in the world. Where do you get the source for that claim from? When God created the universe and everything in it, he created it good. However, along with his creation he gave us the greatest gift of all, which is free-will. But with this gift we have the capacity to do good (Glorify God) or do bad (Glorify something else). When you think about it, and CS Lewis talks about this in his writing, pretty much everything that is evil is simply a perversion of something good (Gluttony is a perversion of diet, Rape is a perversion of sex, Lies are a perversion of the truth, Murder is a perversion of love, etc) and all these things have horrible side-effects that were not what God wanted for his creation. The whole reason that God came to Earth in the person of Jesus was because we’ve screwed things up so bad that we couldn’t fix it on our own, so God came down as a rescue plan to save his creation… if they chose to be rescued.

      Third, when you say that all ‘IS GOD’ how do you get out of self-defeating logic, since by saying that ‘God created the universe and everything in it’ and that ‘Everything is God’ would mean that God created himself? Surely this would make sense to the atheist who is attempting to dodge the Law of Conservation by saying that the Big Bang ‘just happened’ but how do you?

      Fourth, if creation is beautiful and perfect, why did Jesus come preaching messages telling us that we are going to Hell without him?

      Fifth, how do you get to the conclusion that Jesus didn’t have a Bible to ‘thump’ with? Surely, if you’ve read it, you’ve noticed the countless times he ‘Bible Thumped’ the Pharisees with their own scriptures. It is also from the Old Testament scriptures that Jesus shows two gentlemen on the Road to Emmaus that everything he did was foretold from long before (Luke 24:27).

      Sixth, what do you mean that the Universe would be a much more tolerant and pleasant place? By definition Tolerance is defined as ‘Showing willingness to allow the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with.’ Most Christians would say that you are allowed to have an opinion or behavior outside of our own. We may not agree and we may debate them but we will tolerate it nonetheless. If you want to know what intolerance is, visit Saudi Arabia and try yelling ‘Jesus Christ is God in flesh,’ perhaps then you will stop using that title on Christians.

      I’m not trying to anger you or anything, but I just see a few errors in how you reason, especially referring to God and Jesus. Jesus loves us and died for us so that those of us who accept what he died to give us will upon death go to be with him in Heaven and then later spend eternity with him in the ‘New Heaven and New Earth’ spoken of in Revelation. I would like to hear your responses to my questions if you feel like taking the time to do so or if you would like the scripture references for what I wrote just let me know. If you are more comfortable with it you may write me personally at [email protected]. Name’s Kris by the way, God bless!

  2. Mindie

    I know as a female I want to be cherished by my husband for the rest of my life, without comparison to other women.
    God’s design is perfect.
    Thank you for not being a “Ban” Jonathan! You are a great dude.
    Please continue to challenge our men to step up and be spiritual leaders!
    Thanks friend

  3. David Josiah Harris

    This was a good post. Although, I think you’re judging the movie a little too flatly. You haven’t seen it. But you are SO right, about God creating us to enjoy sex in a certain godly context. Keep it up, man. =)

    • Marriage Lover

      I don’t quite understand how how I am judging the movie too flatly…

      • Paul Jones

        @ Marraiage Lover
        Brilliant could not agree more, the Liberals need to read their bible and go back to GOD’s standards and not the worlds. Sin is sin no matter even today in 2012. Sex out of marraige is SIN.

        • Marriage Lover

          Thanks for the comment. However, I don’t think it has much to do with the “Liberals”; that is such a big, nameless, and unhelpful categorization. Liberals and conservatives both get plenty wrong regarding sex (and many other topics).

  4. That_Guy

    What a dumbass, you live in the 21st Century. Everyone thinks differently than you.

    • Marriage Lover

      That_Guy … statistically that is very unlikely… but thanks for your constructive, humble, carefully considered, and amiable feedback?

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