All too often you hear stories of  “Tornado Husbands” that unnecessarily and inconsiderately leave a wake of disarray as they meander through their homely habitats. Wives will inevitably feel  frustrated, resentful, exhausted, disrespected, offended, overwhelmed, sad, and more. Yes, there is definitely a balance to this, but more often than not, men get lazy. Yes, days can be long and exhausting, but get over yourself.

I remember the beginning of our marriage, after my brand-spanking new wife and I started living together, I was and am still amazed by the “little stuff” that matters to her. Do not misunderstand me, I am not complaining! I am merely an amateur anthropologist documenting surely staggering phenomena. Since I am the most perceptive husband in the world, I have observed the following:

  • For some reason she actually likes the bed made up, foofy poofy pillows and all… every single morning… even though we habitually mess up the masterpiece and hop right back in the bed in less than 16 hours.
  • She experiences this odd fidgety tick when cabinets are not closed in the kitchen.
  • It turns out my toothbrush fits nicely in some contraption from Bed Bath & Beyond instead of my preferred location beside the sink that causes a kind of gooey grade school science experiment.
  • You would be surprised how much easier it is maintaining an empty kitchen sink and clean dishes if you wash them right after you use them. Crazy, huh?! This was decidedly different than my college method of letting dirty dishes take over the counter until my roommates and I only had paper plates, plastic forks, pizza box tops, and napkins left as house guest dinnerware.
  • I was utterly flabbergasted that she prefers I hang up my clothing at the end of the day in lieu of creating that “neatly disorganized” potluck pile of couple-day-old clothing beside the bed.

I could go on, but I think we’re on the same page now. It is astonishing how little effort it takes to do these seemingly insignificant acts that actually mean a lot to your wife. Really folks, we’re talking about an investment of seconds or ~maybe~ a couples minutes to serve your wife, add to her peace of mind, make her life marginally easier / simpler, and show her you value her and her preferences. There is an inverted correlation between how simple / easy these acts are and how significant they are to your spouse, it’s almost too good to be true! Talk about a jackpot return on investment!

Also worth noting, you do not have to understand WHY your spouse likes this “little stuff”. Despite your most calculated and logical arguments to the contrary, the reasons for these preferences are relatively irrelevant. Fighting or arguing over these curious quirks is the exact opposite of our goal!

Not to pat myself on the back, but I think I’ve actually done a fairly decent job in these areas, but there’s always room for improvement. However, I have noticed that as I do them I enjoy a double scoop of  joy because it makes me think of and be thankful for my cherished wife, while bringing a smile to my face. I know she notices, cares, and appreciates my teeny acts of service.

Men, this an example of leading in service and consideration in your marriage. Lastly, make sure to “bring this home” by noticing, affirming, and thanking the heck out of each other for these efforts. I actually look forward to my wife thanking me for making up the bed every day.

THE POINT: Experience the blessing and joy of serving your spouse by intentionally doing those little things he/she cares about every day!

Discussion Questions

  1. Have you gotten lazy in these aspects of your marriage? If so, apologize and ask forgiveness.
  2. What are some of those “little things” that mean a lot to you?
  3. How much effort would it REALLY take you prioritize these acts of service?